lovely? But who's left at the end of the queue for your affection? Being
the perfect mother can be a strain on being the perfect wife
am Woman, Hear My Snore
The problem with being at the pinnacle of motherhood is its way of
demolishing intimacy. Which is a bummer.
Lets face it, after fulfilling the material, physical, emotional
and spiritual needs of three offspring, plus of course, all the creative
work and cleaning that every mum at work does on the side, whos
got the energy to
well, spend time with ones partner?
Whats the point of having perfectly brought up children if bringing
them up pulls your relationship down? It niggles that after a day of
painting with my daughter, playing football with my sons, and writing
a short story on the side, I have no energy for anything more than small
talk with my husband.
It may be normal to have divided loyalties when responsible for so
many human beings. But the father of my children achieved love-of-my-life
status when the children were mere hopes and dreams. He got there first.
He doesn't deserve to end up at the end of the queue for my energy and
Here's an experiment we are going to try: since I am too tired at the
end of a day being a perfect mother, we have to find another time to
make space for each other.
My partner and I have decided to do lunch so that we can get some intimacy
back into our relationship. This doesn't have to be purely gastronomic.
We can spend time together by going to exhibitions or simply talking
over a cup of coffee. Making time to be just us two. Time is of the
essence when retrieving lost intimacy. It could lead to wonderful things.
And if the kids are at school, you dont even need to pay a babysitter.
Have you got any strategies for creating space for each other while
continuing to be a perfect mother?
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